Sunday, September 4, 2011

LIFE... it's kind of hard

Why is it that I always feel inspired to post when I'm down in the dumps? My posterity is going to think I was the most depressing person in the entire world. In reality do I have anything to truly be down about? No. I have a husband that is deeply in love with me and supports me and only wants me to be happy, I have friends that are way better then your friends and I have a family that somehow is perfect for me, not to mention I have the gospel in my life, which in reality saves me daily. But here I am going through a rough path and for some reason letting the cyber world read about it( in reality I think four people ready my blog, so... sorry about the exaggeration.) Yesterday I quite my job, I was shocked that I had the guts to do it. I have been working as an assistant for almost 6 months, and in general the job was pretty great, they gave me an iphone and paid my phone bill, gave my a brand new mac laptop and the pay was pretty good, I should have been happy, right? Well I wasn't, I tried to pretend I was happy, for those of you that know me, you know that this is my fourth job in a year and I hate that I can't find where I belong. Anyway, I wasn't happy, my boss was extremely hard on me and my hours ranged from about 50-60 hours a week, it seemed I could rarely do anything right in her eyes and it was starting to weigh on my heavily. I found myself having minor anxiety attacks or panic attacks, afraid that I had "messed up" again. I finally reached a breaking point, yesterday was my two year anniversary, Cam and I had plans to go up to a cabin and relax for the night, I was excited to spend time with him. Right before we left I checked my work email (bad idea) I found an email from my boss informing me about all the mistakes I had made and that they were just down right unacceptable. Now this story is getting long, but if I told you what I did that was so "unacceptable" you would probably laugh. Well, I drove up to my place of work gave her my cell phone, my keys, and my laptop and told her I couldn't work for her anymore. my hands were shaking I was so nervous/angry I have never quite a job without giving a two week notice and making sure I left on good terms, but I knew it wasn't going to end good this time. So here I am now jobless, it's a really weird feeling, but I know what I did was right. I hope I can find where I am supposed to be and it's hard being almost 27 and still trying to figure it out but I know I have to depend on the Lords help and I feel that maybe that is way I'm going through this right now. Everything somehow always works out and I just pray I can take this experience and learn from it.


  1. Whoa. So 1) I read my mission journal last week and had all these memories flood back and 2) I just happened to look at the list of people invited to my blog today and saw your name. "Huh," I thought. "I wonder if Lori has a blog...?" Surprise!

    You're awesome, Lori! Your awesomeness is recorded in my journal, but it's not the same as you-in-the-flesh--we should hang out sometime. Lycka till med jobbsökningen. Vilket mod! Hoppas verkligen att du känner dig nöjd med det nya jobbet när det kommer. Du är fantastisk! Verkligen!

    Och jag tycker att vi borde umgås minst en gång i året--om du hinner någon gång skulle jag vilja träffa dig någonstans så att vi kan prata!

    Kram på dig!

  2. Lori you're awesome and I'm glad you don't work for her anymore! It isn't worth it. You'll find where you belong and someday this will all make sense. I think you're amazing. I love you lots!